Saturday, September 16, 2006
i've moved.
*sueee 11:12 PM
bored.
*sueee 1:21 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
this letter made me cry.
i think its something like what my mom would write, maybe i'll show it to her tommorow and hope she doesn't cry like i do.
on the issue of mentally handicapped siblings, i'd like to think tt my brother preserves the empathy and feeling in me.he's this soft, emotionally protected spot in me that keeps me from being a worse person that i SO easily could become (my mean streak, i'm impatient, i use people, i spend too much money).plus, a friend of mine said my bro looked like harry potter.harry potter's special.
in the middle of this madness, i'm grateful for debra and amanda for being so supportive/helpful/funny.i saw debs today at e lift and we had a chat (boys, foreign countries etc) for 15 mins while her food got cold, and it made me feel sooo much better.and amanda is so sweet and encouraging over msn, it makes me feel so loved.
damn pms hormones are making my lachcrymal ducts wonky.
p/s: i found a lund blog! it says e pace of life there is SUPER slow, only 2 classes a week, u cycle everywhere.its all grass and greenery.ask me for e add!
*sueee 11:08 PM
its IE A class now, and i'm bored and hungry. hope my milo will last me through the next hour.
the days are seriously going by in a daze.yesterday night i slept from 930-1100pm, woke up and finished hwk frm 1130pm-230 am and went back to sleep again.ughs.
My projectmates wanted to book a certain gsr in SESS on a SUNDAY...when they realised
"uhh its booked by ur boyfriend"
-embarassment msn icons pop out-
off to listen to the drone about regional trade agreements in class.
i'm learning everyday that no one is really there for you except yourself.there's no point in hoping for someone to be there for you, when all u have is yourself.
*sueee 10:40 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
C just informed me of this hidden little restaurant near my place, no wait, a STONE's throw from my place the Miss U Cafe it looks pretty good/affordable.i wanna bring J there. if he thinks there is still an "us" [no comments].
yesterday night was the first time i dreamt of dying in all my 21 years. it was so vivid, the walls were a deep shade of blue, the blanket was baby blue. I remember being wheeled in and praying for my "operation" to be a success, and then all went blank, and i "awoke" to see the doctor (who suspiciously looked like dora low) telling my parents that i was gone, unable to be revived. i saw the blinds on the side of the window, the orange gerberas by the table, then i screamed and woke up.
all this would seem a leetle too morbid for me, if i had not watched the grey's anatomy NEW season 3 trailer before sleeping.how powerful the effect of priming is on us.
this photo just resonates in its loneliness and absence of thought and poignancy..trains have that effect on you.she takes beautiful photos.show some love.sorry couldnt resist =)
*sueee 2:12 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Oresund Bridge between Denmark and Sweden
i thought about this for a long time.what it would be like to take the train across this wide expanse of water, I always imagine it to be super cold, and i'll look out the window and feel sad that i'm seeing this with strangers.
damn i'm so dramatic.
final round of talks with parents tomorrow again before i confirm my decision.
emotions are shackling me, even now.if i can't leave it will be cos everything emotion-related is tying me down.the boyfriend( do i want to test this relationship?), family (i'll miss them, pine for them, sister told me not to go just now), friends ( there is no one i know going with me).and then i think of pple who made it wout their loved ones.shu'an.nat.
and then i'm confused all over again.debra says deep down in my heart i know i want to go, but i can't bring myself to accept it.the scariest thing is, i prayed to God so many times for signs that i should go, and he replied promptly every time.
haaarumphs.
*sueee 1:13 AM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
when it comes to people i don't like i have no people skills at all.
i don;t know how to convince/cajole them to do work.
this could so easily make me racist, if i don't remember TJ girls like vaidehi and sarita and how they made JC life so colourful and interesting.
but still, i can't help wishing how things could be SO much better if i had someone like Ray, my friend frm sch of IS as a project mate for FA (he lost e bid, sadly).first of all,
- he'd do a decent powerpoint
- he would not feign IGNORANCE at how to do a powerpoint
- he'd take more initiative to work
- he wouldn't lose his laptop
- i would nopt have to think of ways to ask them to help me do the ppt without giving away that i am very pissed and trying desperately to maintain civility.
ayeee school woes.
am kind of sleepy after a very full jap dinner for the sister's birthday.got her a crumpler bag.stuffed myself full of chocolate cake.thought about sweden.and then thought about how its like fundamental attribution error: i wanna go away not cos i rly want to, but cos sch's giving me a headache recently and i want to get away from all this madness, and when i really do, perhaps i'll wanna stay and get caught up in this madness again.
the stress of it is showing.i snapped at a rude waitress during dinner, and when i saw her flinch i felt this twinge of smug self-satisfaction. its horrible i know, and so s2006-unbecoming.aiyah i'll be nice to 10 more waitresses to make up for my momentary loss of self-control.
off to nap for awhile, than wake up and conquer FA chapter 3!
*sueee 10:24 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006
a little superstition
okay so today is not a good day.after e fun filled weekend where all e good things came in threes.
today after being late for DMA again, i found out steve irwin died.a childhood icon whom u immortalized against images of tame snapping jaws of crocodiles.
next i found out i was bypassed for my 1st choice of exchange (uk).and i can't remember why i put the second, which i now i have.i tried to look out for the signs today.like a Marks and Spencer's sign on the city hall mrt doors.like a manchester united jersey i saw on the train.but to no avail.it just was not meant to be.
and then when i went home and told my parents (who then started thinking of my travel arrangements) and then after that when we watching tv.. my mom casually said "oh look the IKEA catalogue is finally here".In my face. = (
sigh a year wait to re-apply and back to square one.but its okay.congrats to everyone who got their first choice.
Also after that in FA class TTM suddenly said "oh i look forward to seeing group 1's presentation next week" . Mabel and I and Zing all stared at each other and exclaimed "OMG tt's us!" waah thanks Adam the yr 1 Call rep for conveniently putting e grp w all e seniors first, on e week w e first test and presentation.
maybe one day i'll die of all the angst i own.in the meanwhile i'll wait patiently for the sarcasm to drip out of every word in this post i've written.
*sueee 11:33 PM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
best weekend ever =)
went clubbing, wakeboarding, bbq-ing mahjong.like i'm determined to make up for such a horrid 2nd week in school.
school sucks!
*sueee 3:48 PM
MOSsing on friday.
*sueee 3:45 PM
silver balls and purple lights.
*sueee 3:45 PM
chloe and larissa, who always arrive early and leave early.j thinks chloe looks really pretty in this photo. =)
*sueee 3:44 PM
there was an old uncle and aunty hitting the floor with their salsa moves.go uncle and aunty!
*sueee 3:42 PM
my jc pal, L who stuck with me through e horrible As.
*sueee 3:41 PM
j and me. he absolutely LOVES retro music, as i found out only recently.
*sueee 3:40 PM
my shoes HURT too badly, so i took them off in the retro room.
*sueee 3:38 PM
going home.am flushed and partially incoherent.
*sueee 3:37 PM
i've moved.
*sueee 11:12 PM
bored.
*sueee 1:21 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
this letter made me cry.
i think its something like what my mom would write, maybe i'll show it to her tommorow and hope she doesn't cry like i do.
on the issue of mentally handicapped siblings, i'd like to think tt my brother preserves the empathy and feeling in me.he's this soft, emotionally protected spot in me that keeps me from being a worse person that i SO easily could become (my mean streak, i'm impatient, i use people, i spend too much money).plus, a friend of mine said my bro looked like harry potter.harry potter's special.
in the middle of this madness, i'm grateful for debra and amanda for being so supportive/helpful/funny.i saw debs today at e lift and we had a chat (boys, foreign countries etc) for 15 mins while her food got cold, and it made me feel sooo much better.and amanda is so sweet and encouraging over msn, it makes me feel so loved.
damn pms hormones are making my lachcrymal ducts wonky.
p/s: i found a lund blog! it says e pace of life there is SUPER slow, only 2 classes a week, u cycle everywhere.its all grass and greenery.ask me for e add!
*sueee 11:08 PM
its IE A class now, and i'm bored and hungry. hope my milo will last me through the next hour.
the days are seriously going by in a daze.yesterday night i slept from 930-1100pm, woke up and finished hwk frm 1130pm-230 am and went back to sleep again.ughs.
My projectmates wanted to book a certain gsr in SESS on a SUNDAY...when they realised
"uhh its booked by ur boyfriend"
-embarassment msn icons pop out-
off to listen to the drone about regional trade agreements in class.
i'm learning everyday that no one is really there for you except yourself.there's no point in hoping for someone to be there for you, when all u have is yourself.
*sueee 10:40 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
C just informed me of this hidden little restaurant near my place, no wait, a STONE's throw from my place the Miss U Cafe it looks pretty good/affordable.i wanna bring J there. if he thinks there is still an "us" [no comments].
yesterday night was the first time i dreamt of dying in all my 21 years. it was so vivid, the walls were a deep shade of blue, the blanket was baby blue. I remember being wheeled in and praying for my "operation" to be a success, and then all went blank, and i "awoke" to see the doctor (who suspiciously looked like dora low) telling my parents that i was gone, unable to be revived. i saw the blinds on the side of the window, the orange gerberas by the table, then i screamed and woke up.
all this would seem a leetle too morbid for me, if i had not watched the grey's anatomy NEW season 3 trailer before sleeping.how powerful the effect of priming is on us.
this photo just resonates in its loneliness and absence of thought and poignancy..trains have that effect on you.she takes beautiful photos.show some love.sorry couldnt resist =)
*sueee 2:12 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Oresund Bridge between Denmark and Sweden
i thought about this for a long time.what it would be like to take the train across this wide expanse of water, I always imagine it to be super cold, and i'll look out the window and feel sad that i'm seeing this with strangers.
damn i'm so dramatic.
final round of talks with parents tomorrow again before i confirm my decision.
emotions are shackling me, even now.if i can't leave it will be cos everything emotion-related is tying me down.the boyfriend( do i want to test this relationship?), family (i'll miss them, pine for them, sister told me not to go just now), friends ( there is no one i know going with me).and then i think of pple who made it wout their loved ones.shu'an.nat.
and then i'm confused all over again.debra says deep down in my heart i know i want to go, but i can't bring myself to accept it.the scariest thing is, i prayed to God so many times for signs that i should go, and he replied promptly every time.
haaarumphs.
*sueee 1:13 AM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
when it comes to people i don't like i have no people skills at all.
i don;t know how to convince/cajole them to do work.
this could so easily make me racist, if i don't remember TJ girls like vaidehi and sarita and how they made JC life so colourful and interesting.
but still, i can't help wishing how things could be SO much better if i had someone like Ray, my friend frm sch of IS as a project mate for FA (he lost e bid, sadly).first of all,
- he'd do a decent powerpoint
- he would not feign IGNORANCE at how to do a powerpoint
- he'd take more initiative to work
- he wouldn't lose his laptop
- i would nopt have to think of ways to ask them to help me do the ppt without giving away that i am very pissed and trying desperately to maintain civility.
ayeee school woes.
am kind of sleepy after a very full jap dinner for the sister's birthday.got her a crumpler bag.stuffed myself full of chocolate cake.thought about sweden.and then thought about how its like fundamental attribution error: i wanna go away not cos i rly want to, but cos sch's giving me a headache recently and i want to get away from all this madness, and when i really do, perhaps i'll wanna stay and get caught up in this madness again.
the stress of it is showing.i snapped at a rude waitress during dinner, and when i saw her flinch i felt this twinge of smug self-satisfaction. its horrible i know, and so s2006-unbecoming.aiyah i'll be nice to 10 more waitresses to make up for my momentary loss of self-control.
off to nap for awhile, than wake up and conquer FA chapter 3!
*sueee 10:24 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006
a little superstition
okay so today is not a good day.after e fun filled weekend where all e good things came in threes.
today after being late for DMA again, i found out steve irwin died.a childhood icon whom u immortalized against images of tame snapping jaws of crocodiles.
next i found out i was bypassed for my 1st choice of exchange (uk).and i can't remember why i put the second, which i now i have.i tried to look out for the signs today.like a Marks and Spencer's sign on the city hall mrt doors.like a manchester united jersey i saw on the train.but to no avail.it just was not meant to be.
and then when i went home and told my parents (who then started thinking of my travel arrangements) and then after that when we watching tv.. my mom casually said "oh look the IKEA catalogue is finally here".In my face. = (
sigh a year wait to re-apply and back to square one.but its okay.congrats to everyone who got their first choice.
Also after that in FA class TTM suddenly said "oh i look forward to seeing group 1's presentation next week" . Mabel and I and Zing all stared at each other and exclaimed "OMG tt's us!" waah thanks Adam the yr 1 Call rep for conveniently putting e grp w all e seniors first, on e week w e first test and presentation.
maybe one day i'll die of all the angst i own.in the meanwhile i'll wait patiently for the sarcasm to drip out of every word in this post i've written.
*sueee 11:33 PM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
best weekend ever =)
went clubbing, wakeboarding, bbq-ing mahjong.like i'm determined to make up for such a horrid 2nd week in school.
school sucks!
*sueee 3:48 PM
MOSsing on friday.
*sueee 3:45 PM
silver balls and purple lights.
*sueee 3:45 PM
chloe and larissa, who always arrive early and leave early.j thinks chloe looks really pretty in this photo. =)
*sueee 3:44 PM
there was an old uncle and aunty hitting the floor with their salsa moves.go uncle and aunty!
*sueee 3:42 PM
my jc pal, L who stuck with me through e horrible As.
*sueee 3:41 PM
j and me. he absolutely LOVES retro music, as i found out only recently.
*sueee 3:40 PM
my shoes HURT too badly, so i took them off in the retro room.
*sueee 3:38 PM
going home.am flushed and partially incoherent.
*sueee 3:37 PM
